The ultimate luxury: bird poo on your face.

It’s old news if you’re keeping up with the world of beauty treatments, but the latest thing this year for the ultimate luxury facial is made from nightingale droppings. Gathered from nightingale farms in China, the secret ingredient of the bird turds is apparently guanine. The Daily Mail explains:

In the times of Imperial court, Nightingale faeces was used by Geisha and Kabuki actors to remove their thick clay-based make-up. The bird dung has tried-and-tested skin lightening properties and contains the enzyme Guanine that brightens dull skin.

Now, hang on. Here comes the science. Guanine? For a start, it’s not an enzyme – it’s a nucleotide. For another thing, it occurs in all sorts of bird poo, and lots of other places too. There’s a clue in the name. Guanine, guano… see? So ugly celebrities intent on making themselves beautiful may as well let pigeons poo on their faces.

Paris in the spring

This is typical beauty-industry hype. Really, if you wanted to think of a good way to part rich ladies from their money, how much more entertaining could it be than to relieve them of

Happy birthday to the Exploding Whale!

For many years Naturenet has celebrated an early internet ‘viral video’, the famous Oregon exploding whale. It was only recently that The Ranger discovered that this remarkable event happened as long ago as 1970 – on 12th November 1970, to be exact, 36 years ago today.

The Oregon Exploding Whale

It’s a tribute to the power of the internet that this bizarre event is so well known, so long after it occurred: largely because it happened to have been recorded on video. If you have either never seen the exploding whale video, or not seen it for a while, The Ranger strongly recommends you go and have a look – it’s been cleaned up and remastered and is now even more spectacularly daft and entertaining. Don’t worry – it’s not particularly gory either. At the risk of spoiling the surprise somewhat, let’s say that the explosion did not quite have the desired effect.

Buffalo dung weapon – what are they hiding?

Startling news from just across the water in Lymington, where six water buffalo have been stolen.

Police have warned people not to approach [them] as “they are able to spray dung across large distances”. A police spokesman said members of the public should not approach the buffalo from behind.

Asiatic water buffalo This buffalo looks like it’s about to let one go

Now the Ranger has little experience of livestock generally, and none at all of water buffalo. But somehow this hitherto unremarked talent of the buffalo seems worthy of note. No other reference to this ability can be found on the web, although there are plenty of items to be found about the essentially similar trick of the bombardier beetle. So the Ranger’s theory is that this is a variation on the proverbial trick of marking a carton of milk ‘biology experiment’ in an attempt to deter thieves. All cattle have an enviable ability to express themselves with dung – a necessary skill to avoid covering their legs with the stuff. Perhaps water buffalo have refined the art slightly, and, mindful of this, the bereft owner of the buffalo in question decided to draw attention to this ability in the hope that the rustlers, terrified of getting high-pressure dung hosed into their faces, might bring the poor buffalo home. Or maybe not. Anyone else got any corroboration for the buffalo-dung weapon of mass destruction? EDIT: Yes, it worked! Apparently the beasts were back in their field the same day.