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Wuthering at Heights Regulations…?

Matthew Chatfield
Latest posts by Matthew Chatfield (see all)

So what films do rangers watch? How about “Gone with the Windfarm” or “Lord of the Ring-fenced funding“…? There are plenty more gags like that on the Blogger profile page of the Countryside Jobs Service – a long-term sponsor of Naturenet. The Ranger always enjoys ferreting through the CJS website (and no, he’s not after a new job yet, thank you) but has only recently come across this particularly witty list.


Also featured are some of their favourite books and music: “Taming and re-release of the shrew“, “JS Bach: Park on a Shoestring“, and the particularly fine “Wuthering at Heights Regulations” … Perhaps we can all play this game. Here goes: Films:

  • Forrestry Commission Gump
  • Gone with the Winch
  • Gosford Country Park
  • The Texas Chainsaw Sharpener


  • Park Life
  • The Fat of the Land-Rover
  • Sign O’ the Timesheet

No doubt many more will suggest themselves to you… feel free to share them with the rest of us!

Matthew Chatfield

Uncooperative crusty. Unofficial Isle of Wight cultural ambassador. Conservation, countryside and the environment, with extra stuff about spiders.

18 thoughts on “Wuthering at Heights Regulations…?

  • The Virtual Ranger

    I know that this post has probably had its day, but I’ve just found a (long lost) piece of paper on which I’d scribbled the following:

    Shoot That Poison Sparrow – ABC
    Acorn Get You Out of My Head – Kylie Minogue
    Country Housefly – Blur
    Wood-I-lice to You – Eurythmics
    Billy Don’t Be A Hero – Paperlacewing
    Can’t Get Used to Delousing Ewes – Andy Williams
    Hey Macrocarpa – Los Del Mar
    My Humps – Blackeyed Pewits

    I thank you.

  • Lizard of Oz? Oh, no it isn’t! So how about a pantomine or two:

    Stick Whittington
    Jack and the GM Bean-tomato
    What’s Snow and the 7 Males
    Alladin and the Wind-up Torch
    Ali Baba and the 40 Ruffs and Reeves
    Mother Goose and Her Satellite Tracking Device

  • Ruth D'Alessandro

    Double Aaargh! My 6-year-old is now in on the act with:
    The Lizard of Oz

  • OK, OK! Dy-na-mi-tea-tree was sung by Msd Dynamite. (Shame)!

    It was actually Bee Oncy who sang:
    Crazy Frog in Love; Baby Koi and even Beautiful Briar.

    I’d better stick to ABBAA Lamb’s Greatest Countryside Hits:

    Ruth has already offered us Dancing Queen Bee, but what about:

    What A Zoo
    Mammal Mia
    Fern And O
    Super Whooper
    I have a Bream
    Angel Fish Eyes
    Roes Your Mother Know?
    Mowing Me, Mowing Yew
    The Minnow Takes it All
    The Name of the Gamebird
    Thank You for the Muntjak

    and not forgetting the gamekeeper’s prayer:

    Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimmie! (A suspicious van after midnight).

    See? That’s far more My Hind of Music!

  • Younger readers may prefer:

    Tea-tree by Bee Oncy?

  • Eiderman indeed!

    Or even ‘How Green was my Urban Space?’ – Pochard Llewellyn…

    The Ranger adds: younger readers left scratching their heads might find some succour here…

  • Ruth D'Alessandro

    I call a truce, Your Maj, lest our whole lives be consumed! Turtle Recall etc ha ha ha!

  • The Virtual Ranger

    Films is it now? OK, howabout:

    On the Waterfowl
    Turtle Recall
    Harrison Ford on the run in The Fungitive
    Harry Otter and the Order of the Phoenix
    Bullfinch Drummond
    Toby Maguire is Eiderman
    Godwitnail and I
    007 is back in Goldfincher
    Nightjar of the Living Dead

    For the Latin spods we have Robert DeNiro in Taxus Driver

    And a forgotten modern classic book:
    Oystercatcher in the Rye

    And even one for the boombastic boys:
    Shag-gy and Mr Plover Plover

    Enough! (For now..!)

  • Ruth D'Alessandro


    Now on a maritime theme:
    Anemone At The Gates
    Buoys In Da Hood
    A Fistful of Sand Dollars
    The Life And Death Of Colonel Shrimp
    Gregory’s Gull

    On Golden Pondskater
    Land Rover and Freedom
    Ride With The Devil’s Coach Horse
    Roman Snail Holiday
    A Hedge Too Far
    The Hedges of Madison County
    My Fair Ladybird

    Zoo Loo
    The Gnus of Navarone

    Jagged Little Pillbug
    A Hard Day’s Nightshade

  • Hi Ruth. Was it something they satin?


    The Green, Green Grass Snake of Home – Tomcat Jones.

  • Ruth D'Alessandro

    Ha ha Yaffle! My children have nits whatever satin they are wearing! We also had:

    The First Cuttlefish Is The Deepest

  • Oh joy! How about:

    Blue Suede Shrews by Elvers Presley
    Four Wheel Drive on my Wagon by Lee Marvin
    Nits in White Satin by the Moody Blue Butterflies

  • The Virtual Ranger

    May I add the following:

    My Gull – Madness
    Send in the Drones – Carly Simon
    Stand By Your Mantis – Tammy Wynette
    Mellow Yellowhammer – Donovan
    I Get All The Galls – Calvin Harris
    My Co-cocoon – Alvin Stardust
    Silver Machine – Hawkmoth

    Apologies for these:

    Wake Me Up Before You Glow-worm – Wham
    Stickleback Home – 1970 England World Cup Squad

    And my variations on previous posts:

    Thrips Don’t Lie – Shakira
    Denim and Leatherjackets – Saxon
    Long Haired Lover From Liverwort – Little Jimmy Osmond
    (And They Called It) Pupa Love – Donny Osmond

    And finally, heard echoing round the football terraces of the land, “Earwig-o, earwig-o, earwig-o”…

  • Ruth D'Alessandro

    And Two Aretha Franklin numbers (one of which has appeared on the Ranger’s blog previously):
    Son of A Pleacher Man
    (Show A Little) I-N-S-E-C-T

  • Ruth D'Alessandro

    More music:
    Pupa Don’t Preach
    Dancing Queen Bee
    I Believe In Spiracles
    Common People
    Rosehips Don’t Lie

    More films:
    Reservoir Dogs To Be Kept On Leads
    Full Metal Leatherjacket
    The Green Stile

  • Ruth D'Alessandro

    And not forgetting:
    ‘Harry Potter Wasp and the Deathly Swallows’

  • Ruth D'Alessandro

    Smack My Vetch Up
    Noctule Bat Out of Hell
    Hit The Road, Muntjac

    Is This The Way To Armadillo? and
    Termite I Celebrate My Love For You (for African rangers)

    Withsnail and I
    Indicator Species II
    Wild Early Purple Orchid

    I need to get out more…..


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