Wuthering at Heights Regulations…?
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So what films do rangers watch? How about “Gone with the Windfarm” or “Lord of the Ring-fenced funding“…? There are plenty more gags like that on the Blogger profile page of the Countryside Jobs Service – a long-term sponsor of Naturenet. The Ranger always enjoys ferreting through the CJS website (and no, he’s not after a new job yet, thank you) but has only recently come across this particularly witty list.
Also featured are some of their favourite books and music: “Taming and re-release of the shrew“, “JS Bach: Park on a Shoestring“, and the particularly fine “Wuthering at Heights Regulations” … Perhaps we can all play this game. Here goes: Films:
- Forrestry Commission Gump
- Gone with the Winch
- Gosford Country Park
- The Texas Chainsaw Sharpener
Music:
- Park Life
- The Fat of the Land-Rover
- Sign O’ the Timesheet
No doubt many more will suggest themselves to you… feel free to share them with the rest of us!
I know that this post has probably had its day, but I’ve just found a (long lost) piece of paper on which I’d scribbled the following:
Shoot That Poison Sparrow – ABC
Acorn Get You Out of My Head – Kylie Minogue
Country Housefly – Blur
Wood-I-lice to You – Eurythmics
Billy Don’t Be A Hero – Paperlacewing
Can’t Get Used to Delousing Ewes – Andy Williams
Hey Macrocarpa – Los Del Mar
My Humps – Blackeyed Pewits
I thank you.
Lizard of Oz? Oh, no it isn’t! So how about a pantomine or two:
Charcoalrella
Stick Whittington
Jack and the GM Bean-tomato
What’s Snow and the 7 Males
Alladin and the Wind-up Torch
Ali Baba and the 40 Ruffs and Reeves
Mother Goose and Her Satellite Tracking Device
Double Aaargh! My 6-year-old is now in on the act with:
The Lizard of Oz
OK, OK! Dy-na-mi-tea-tree was sung by Msd Dynamite. (Shame)!
It was actually Bee Oncy who sang:
Crazy Frog in Love; Baby Koi and even Beautiful Briar.
I’d better stick to ABBAA Lamb’s Greatest Countryside Hits:
Ruth has already offered us Dancing Queen Bee, but what about:
What A Zoo
Mammal Mia
Fern And O
Voulez-Vole?
Super Whooper
I have a Bream
Angel Fish Eyes
Roes Your Mother Know?
Mowing Me, Mowing Yew
The Minnow Takes it All
The Name of the Gamebird
Thank You for the Muntjak
and not forgetting the gamekeeper’s prayer:
Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimmie! (A suspicious van after midnight).
See? That’s far more My Hind of Music!
Younger readers may prefer:
Tea-tree by Bee Oncy?
Eiderman indeed!
Or even ‘How Green was my Urban Space?’ – Pochard Llewellyn…
The Ranger adds: younger readers left scratching their heads might find some succour here…
I call a truce, Your Maj, lest our whole lives be consumed! Turtle Recall etc ha ha ha!
Films is it now? OK, howabout:
On the Waterfowl
Turtle Recall
Harrison Ford on the run in The Fungitive
Harry Otter and the Order of the Phoenix
Bullfinch Drummond
Toby Maguire is Eiderman
Godwitnail and I
007 is back in Goldfincher
Nightjar of the Living Dead
For the Latin spods we have Robert DeNiro in Taxus Driver
And a forgotten modern classic book:
Oystercatcher in the Rye
And even one for the boombastic boys:
Shag-gy and Mr Plover Plover
Enough! (For now..!)
Terrible!
Now on a maritime theme:
Anemone At The Gates
Buoys In Da Hood
A Fistful of Sand Dollars
The Life And Death Of Colonel Shrimp
Gregory’s Gull
On Golden Pondskater
Land Rover and Freedom
Ride With The Devil’s Coach Horse
Roman Snail Holiday
A Hedge Too Far
The Hedges of Madison County
My Fair Ladybird
Zoo Loo
The Gnus of Navarone
Music:
Jagged Little Pillbug
A Hard Day’s Nightshade
Hi Ruth. Was it something they satin?
Anyway:
The Green, Green Grass Snake of Home – Tomcat Jones.
Ha ha Yaffle! My children have nits whatever satin they are wearing! We also had:
The First Cuttlefish Is The Deepest
Oh joy! How about:
Blue Suede Shrews by Elvers Presley
or
Four Wheel Drive on my Wagon by Lee Marvin
or
Nits in White Satin by the Moody Blue Butterflies
May I add the following:
My Gull – Madness
Send in the Drones – Carly Simon
Stand By Your Mantis – Tammy Wynette
Mellow Yellowhammer – Donovan
I Get All The Galls – Calvin Harris
My Co-cocoon – Alvin Stardust
Silver Machine – Hawkmoth
Apologies for these:
Wake Me Up Before You Glow-worm – Wham
Stickleback Home – 1970 England World Cup Squad
And my variations on previous posts:
Thrips Don’t Lie – Shakira
Denim and Leatherjackets – Saxon
Long Haired Lover From Liverwort – Little Jimmy Osmond
(And They Called It) Pupa Love – Donny Osmond
And finally, heard echoing round the football terraces of the land, “Earwig-o, earwig-o, earwig-o”…
Aaargh!
And Two Aretha Franklin numbers (one of which has appeared on the Ranger’s blog previously):
Son of A Pleacher Man
(Show A Little) I-N-S-E-C-T
Have we had
“Long-haired larva from Liverpool‘?
More music:
Pupa Don’t Preach
Dancing Queen Bee
I Believe In Spiracles
Common People
Rosehips Don’t Lie
More films:
Reservoir Dogs To Be Kept On Leads
Full Metal Leatherjacket
The Green Stile
And not forgetting:
‘Harry Potter Wasp and the Deathly Swallows’
Music:
Smack My Vetch Up
Noctule Bat Out of Hell
Hit The Road, Muntjac
Is This The Way To Armadillo? and
Termite I Celebrate My Love For You (for African rangers)
Film:
Withsnail and I
Indicator Species II
Wild Early Purple Orchid
I need to get out more…..