With the Isle of Wight’s long tradition of welcoming visitors, it is only a matter of time before we introduce an Islanders’ Test to make sure that anyone wishing to cross our borders and become a true Islander really knows their garlic. An early draft has found its way into my hands, so I thought you’d like to have a go.
The most important Isle of Wight annual event is:
What is the Isle of Wight’s most popular pastime?
A. Stand-up paddleboarding
B. Queuing for a ferry
D. Moaning about other people moaning
When approaching a mini-roundabout in a car, what is the correct etiquette?
A. Slow down and only enter the junction when safe to do so
B. Wave and smile at any other driver waiting to enter before proceeding with caution
C. Come to a complete halt and flash your main beam
D. Take a long run-up, get a good head of speed and shoot right over the middle
What Isle of Wight foodstuff is typically most revered by Islanders?
A. Newchurch Pie at the Blacksmiths
B. IW Blue Cheese ice cream at Crave, Ventnor
C. Garlic beer
D. The last plate of chips from Red Funnel’s ReFuel canteen on a Friday night
What is a ‘Gallybagger’?
A. One of those old boats at Yarmouth? Or something?
B. A scarecrow
C. A cheese
D. A word synthesised by W H Long in 1886
What would be the most suitable costume for Cowes Week?
A. Complete set of this year’s Helly Hansen
B. Red trousers (gents) or Alice band (ladies)
C. Anything beerproof
D. Cosplay as Richard Branson to get access to the ‘special menu’ at the Bahar
Mostly A: You’re too fresh off the boat
Mostly B: Ok, maybe you’re not quite a grockle any more
Mostly B: Now you’re starting to think like an Islander
Mostly D: Congratulations nippur, you’re an official Caulkhead!