Doctor Who finale makes vaguely countryside-related gaffe: millions indifferent
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The final episode of the latest series of Doctor Who on BBC TV was watched by millions, including The Ranger, of course. Being of a certain age he is delighted to welcome back the Doctor after too long an absence. However, this particular episode sparked off yet another of The Ranger’s pet rants when the character Rose said ‘We all climbed into Dad’s old Jeep’ and then was seen clambering into a Series III long-wheel base ex-military Land-Rover. Listen good, BBC – Land-Rovers are not Jeeps.
Jessica the Land-Rover
The Ranger was once a real Land-Rover bore. No, worse than this, really. You’re lucky that he’s over that now. Above is an image of his erstwhile pride and joy, Jessica, so-named because of her habit of vibrating vigorously. Whilst he enjoyed driving Jessica and other Land-Rovers in the course of his work, nothing would get him going more than the indiscriminate use of the term Jeep. A Jeep is a brand of vehicle, and a Land-Rover isn’t a Jeep. So let’s just move along, shall we? Oh, there is one more thing. When Rose and her hugely wealthy father and pregnant mother entered this Land-Rover, they then drove it hundreds of miles from London to Norway. It was winter. That must have been about a week’s drive. Now, as all Rangers and indeed anyone who has ever been anywhere in one of those things knows, keeping warm is not their strong point. In fact, they are freezing cold, with the wind whistling in where it really shouldn’t. And as for driving hundreds of miles, with a pregnant wife, when you have fleets of alternative vehicles available… well if the vibration didn’t make her sick the smell of the clutch would have. No. Alternative universes, flying Daleks and void-hopping Cybermen are believable enough. But driving a Land-Rover to Norway in winter? Take it from an old Ranger – that’s just fantasy.
No, I’m not going to be reasonable! I spend all day at work being reasonable – for once, John, I’m going to be utterly unreasonable. Goddamit! Jeeps are not Landys, and Rose is not an average teenage girl, either. We expect more.
Be reasonable – to a fair proportion of teenage girls any 4×4 is a “Jeep”. Rose never showed any signs of being an offroad vehicle aficionado so her mistake is understandable.
Hmm… Petrantlover. Is Petrant an obscure planet that Jon Pertwee once visited? Oh, hang on – I get it now. Well, if you want a real pet rant, I commend to you my thoughts on irresponsible dog owners. I animated the picture myself!
Mr Ranger, surely you know this nontechie well enough to know that I’ve no idea what this means?
Whatever the subject, Ranger pet rants are always enjoyable. The perfect spectator sport.
I watched the last episodes with my brother’s two sons and had an emotional moment of my own. They’d seen it before, but were more than happy to accompany me on the video version, and assured me that yes I would be needing a box of tissues, which they kindly placed to hand. When mention was made of an emotion called hope that the Doctor favoured, and I admitted that I was now crying, my wise young nephew Robert said ‘Yes I thought you’d cry at that bit.’ There may be a tenuous wildlife connection there. Something to do with the survival of bluebells despite global warming?