Local provenance food at Waitrose

Wahoo! The Isle of Wight has finally joined the middle class, and a branch of Waitrose has opened in East Cowes, of all places. A few years ago our only Volvo dealership closed down and, frankly, most people still won’t venture across the water as far as Ikea, even if you can actually see it from the ferry. So Waitrose setting up shop is something that will get the yummy mummies chattering happily for sure.

Apple © monkeyc.net

The Ranger was pleased to see the new shop was touted as “the most ‘green’ supermarket in Britain“. Amongst other innovations, it appears that “the store will be supporting three local suppliers — Goddards Brewery, The Garlic Farm and The Tomato Stall“. Only three? Sounds a bit feeble. But surely Waitrose is the epitome of all that is worthy and green? Isn’t it? The Ranger went along to find out. Continue reading Local provenance food at Waitrose

The Ranger eats Mopane worms – but avoids weasel coffee

Mmm! A party invitation arrived recently at Ranger Towers, inviting The Ranger and his companion to an evening meal… of invertebrates! Intrigued? The Ranger certainly was. With the possibility of combining two of his great interests, food and bugs, this was one night out that he certainly was not intending to pass up. The evening, hosted by the Isle of Wight’s most convivial archaeologist, proved to be a great success – at least, from the human point of view. Some of the arthropods involved may have had other views. The entire thing was inspired by the online shopping website Edible.com which sells all sorts of bizarre things which it asserts to be edible. Some are obviously novelty items, but others are less so. After a hearty meal of a conventional nature, The Ranger and the other guests gathered around the intriguing little hamper of goods from Edible.com and prepared to dive in. First on the menu were dried mopane worms – the caterpillar of Gonimbrasia belina, a moth found in much of southern Africa and an important source of protein and for millions of Southern Africans, as well as being of considerable economic importance. So, no novelty item here – people live on these things.

Mopane worms

Each dried caterpillar was about 5cm long, and The Ranger dove straight in and crunched one up. Let’s hope he never gets to live in the African bush because it was not good eating. ‘Like charcoal’ was how he described it. Wikipedia tends to agree, saying:

…the dried mopane worm has very little flavor and is some times compared to eating dried wood.

To follow was a dish of Giant Toasted Ants. The Edible.com website chirpily says:

The Guane Indians believe that these Ants have youth giving and Aphrodisiac properties…[they] taste similar to crisply fried bacon with an earthy taste, and make the perfect alternative party snack instead of nuts or olives!

Giant Toasted Ants

The Ranger had a good go at a couple of these little fellows, and it’s certainly fair to say that they are pretty big ants. Whether the rest of their description stands up to such scrutiny is doubtful, though. They tasted not dissimilar to the mopane worms, with the addition of little spiky legs. And if they had either youth giving or aphrodisiac qualities these were not immediately effective – which, on reflection, was perhaps not entirely a bad thing under the circumstances, as it could well have disrupted the party. Finally, the piece de resistance, a scorpion in a vodka-flavoured lollipop. No mumbo-jumbo about the life-giving emanations and the remote tribes this time – just a scorpion in a lollipop.

Scorpion in a lollipop

Crunchy? Yes, certainly. Sweet, well, kind of. The website helpfully suggests:

…take them clubbing or you can enjoy them at home.

It’s always something to bear in mind, if you were wondering about the etiquette of scorpion-lollipop consumption. A most enjoyable and adventurous evening was had by all – and later exploration of the Edible website revealed one treat which could have rounded off the meal but, not being invertebrate-based, was not on offer this time: Weasel Coffee. Edible.com coyly says:

This Coffee is first eaten by Weasels which then regurgitate it, no one knows why they do this.

Intrigued, The Ranger had to investigate this unlikely tale. It turns out to be almost true, except that the coffee isn’t eaten by weasels, but by the common palm civet (Paradoxurus hermaphoditus); and it is not regurgitated but defecated – yes, that’s the other end – and that some people do know this. It also seems almost certain, given the scarcity and high price of the real Weasel Coffee, that the stuff on offer is in fact the comparable Trung Nguyên’s ‘Legendee’ coffee, which does not involve any weasels at all. But who would want to spoil such a great story?