Tag Archives: funny

A shrimp on a treadmill to the tune of Benny Hill

Persisting with the Ranger’s long-standing interest in bizarre invertebrates, the latest addition to his virtual menagerie is this video, enigmatically titled “A shrimp on a treadmill to the tune of Benny Hill”:

This is one of the funniest things the Ranger has seen online for a long time. Which probably says something about the internet.

Bluebells on wheels: axles of evil?

By Ruth D’Alessandro, The Wildlife Gardener The Wildlife Gardener is concerned that the National Trust could do a bit more to help solve the obesity crisis. The Spring issue of National Trust ‘Near You’ magazine for Kent Sussex and Surrey advertises the following activity at Hatchlands Park:

Bluebells on wheels

What’s wrong with that funny old-fashioned thing, a walk?

This is a ******* wasp!

Regular readers will know how the Ranger has an uneasy respect for waspkind. At this time of the year it’s easy to forget our yellowjacketed friends, but don’t be fooled: they are sleeping, awaiting the summer.

The Asian Giant Hornet, Vespa mandarinia
The Asian Giant Hornet, Vespa mandarinia

I was entertained to find, whilst reading Imgur’s ‘Best pictures of 2010′ one wasp-related graphic which I decided not to use earlier this year as, well, it’s a bit profane. In fact, very profane. But I enjoyed it so much I thought that you could probably make the decision for yourself. So if you don’t like rude words, don’t click through. This is a wasp (NSFW)

 

The ultimate luxury: bird poo on your face.

It’s old news if you’re keeping up with the world of beauty treatments, but the latest thing this year for the ultimate luxury facial is made from nightingale droppings. Gathered from nightingale farms in China, the secret ingredient of the bird turds is apparently guanine. The Daily Mail explains:

In the times of Imperial court, Nightingale faeces was used by Geisha and Kabuki actors to remove their thick clay-based make-up. The bird dung has tried-and-tested skin lightening properties and contains the enzyme Guanine that brightens dull skin.

Now, hang on. Here comes the science. Guanine? For a start, it’s not an enzyme – it’s a nucleotide. For another thing, it occurs in all sorts of bird poo, and lots of other places too. There’s a clue in the name. Guanine, guano… see? So ugly celebrities intent on making themselves beautiful may as well let pigeons poo on their faces.

Paris in the spring

This is typical beauty-industry hype. Really, if you wanted to think of a good way to part rich ladies from their money, how much more entertaining could it be than to relieve them of